Hey-de-ho!

I hate being sick. I'm a real baby when I'm sick. Ask Adilah and Shah. Heh.

Driving today was very bad. I don't know if it's because I'm sick or because it was raining but I kept striking the kerb. So..yeah. I don't know what now, come Monday.

After a series of good circuit lessons, this has to happen. Bleargh.

Sometimes the common man is so rude you want to just slap his face. Just now as I was walking past the Eunos foodcourt, some guy threw his cigarette at me to catch my attention. And I stupidly turned. Why? Because I thought it was unintentional and I wanted to glare at the callous bastard.

I want to recover!

What if I don't wanna forget
Don't want anyone but you
Believe me, it's true, for a while...forever
Just let me stay here with you
I don't wanna leave, I don't wanna leave

I owe Adilah a million thanks for teaching me how to borrow books and photocopy stuff for my readings. I have my first set of photocopied notes in my bag right now! Haha sometimes I act so jakun I embarrass myself.

I'm sleepy! I think I now need to get used to the fact that it's actually not taboo to smoke. Initially I had to get accustomed to all the PDA going on, hahah. Now that I've gotten used to that, it's the smoking thing.

If I said I loved you, what would you do?

A quick update before I get my work done..

Honestly? I haven't done any readings. There has been too many things to do and experience that I've been putting aside the readings. I better catch up on the work!

Just now Shah followed me all the way to my tutorial class. Sweet, huh. =) Along the way, he kept cracking [loud and VERY LAME] jokes about how he's in a hurry because he has to meet his friend in the hall later on.

I think I've been recharged. =)

Let's get ready to rumbleee!

On Friday night, I met up with Shahrul after his Brunei trip. Initially I was supposed to pick him up at the airport in the wee hours of the morning but his family sprung a sweet surprise on him, haha. On Friday also, my mom left for Perth with my aunt. Ooh I want to strangle her. She had seven months to go - seven months that I was free, but she chose to go when university starts for me. Grrr.

To be honest, while on the bus to Clementi to meet him, I didn't know what to expect. I felt very..blah. Haha Adilah was telling me that when I did meet him, I'd be very happy and that maybe the fact that I was actually going to meet him hadn't sunk in yet because I hadn't met him for so long. I was apprehensive about her words but all's good because it was later proven true. =)
She's so cute! Texted me during the date to ask me how it went because she was 'curious'. Haha =)

We headed to town, had a great time together as usual. Met him again yesterday where we watched The Break-Up. I really enjoyed the movie! Initially it was chosen as a last resort because I wanted a chick flick [heheh] and there wasn't any other better timings but I didn't expect the movie to move me so much. Especially the bit where Jennifer cried when he didn't meet her at the concert. It's as though you could really sense her frustration and her disappointment - the fact that she was trying to be strong and not let him see her cry. Although the movie was a little biased towards girls [haha!], I found it very real and hence, amusing yet sobering. I think that guys and girls will interpret the movie differently. And the ending! I loved the way it was unexpected yet hopeful. I loved the way he winked at her as though they both knew something good was about to happen. And what's going to happen next is bound to be amazing because they'd both cleaned up their lives - they had the courage to take a step back from everything, to re-examine themselves. I think Shah enjoyed the movie too.

After that was Samar's! I love the ambience. Tried the sheesha but couldn't quite get the hang of it, so I stopped trying. I didn't like it anyway. =P. Heheh. But yeah, I love the place. Although the food was a big disappointment. Hmmmm.

He just told me that two of his friends had broken up yesterday because their girlfriends decided they didn't have time for them. Well now, ain't that a sad thing? I figure it's more because of the timing of the trip - the fact that our boyfriends are away during our first two weeks in the university and everything's all moving so fast, alongside discovering many new things. I don't really know how to express this in words. I can understand what goaded the girls to that decision but I also feel sorry for them for giving up so soon.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone..

Maybe a greater thing will happen, maybe all will see. Maybe our love will catch like fire, as it burns through me.

For the past few days, I've been listening to nothing but hip hop and other fast tracks. But after messing up the auditions very badly [my heart's still very much broken =(] I'm refusing to listen to anymore of that and I'm now listening to slow songs. So I'm going all emo on you again.

Oh! I met Xiao Qing today! And seriously, I miss her alot. My JC mates. Though life in jc was rotten and we probably hung out with each other solely because we didn't have anyone else to hang out with [ha-bloody-ha], they made for a good bunch of people and I loveee theemmm!

Hehe.

Lucas: Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts.

Took this picture off Este's blog. Damn, I'm no longer a brunette like them, lol.

Reperio barbeque


I don't have any other pictures. Why? I was too busy trying to capture the aeroplanes and to gobble up all the chicken.

Anyhoo, someone commented on Ready or not, here I come.. in my deviantART. It's a picture of Gandos which I took yesterday.

To think I nearly disabled comments because I worried I'd receive only negative ones. =D

And one more picture from yesterday..

We're friends! Really.

Someone added the aeroplane picture in their favourites in deviantART!

This, my friends, is supposed to be an aeroplane.


And these were taken while we were waiting for the bus.


THIS was the bus we missed as we were too busy taking pictures.




There were several other much more abstract pictures but my camera couldn't capture them. =( Muz helped me take some using his camera [which costs almost 1k!] and he's sending them to me soon. =) Yay!

Duhai dara kau manis jelita
Senyum mu indah berseri-seri
Hati ku selalu menjadi tergoda
Memandang kau tiap hari

Engkaulah yang ku puja-puja
Gadis impian di waktu malam
Aku duduk termenung kesepian
Terkenang dara pujaan

Tidak kau kasihan
Ku menanti kepadamu selalu
Biar ku rasa bosan
Hati ku tetap pada mu

Beginilah hidup dalam dunia
Selalu sama saling bercinta
Marilah dinda pujaan kesuma
Mengikat janji asmara

Well hey, my Malay's not too bad that I can't understand that. Haha =)

Sometimes, are you suddenly struck by a feeling of overwhelming sadness? For no apparent reason at all, and you just want to [maybe] go home, curl up in your room and hug your favourite pillow? You just want to shut the rest of the world out, feel safe and sound the way you did when you were a little girl and maybe have a good cry.

Dorothy of Kansas was right when she said that there's no place like home.

"You know, if they want to help people in Iraq....imagine a15 year-old kid, for the last 5 years all he's seen is [US] military personnel with weapons going through his city. How is that child supposed to believe that that man, in that uniform is helping him? Now, if that child saw a convoy of logs being brought to his city, or a convoy of water being brought to his city, still guarded, it would be a completely different situation. That's where the American military messed up. Because they forgot about the perception of civilisation. They forgot about the perception of the Iraqi people."

- Taken from www.dailywarnews.blogspot.com

You wanted to race through the maze. I would take the left and you, the right. But I was afraid of going through it on my own so I grabbed your hand, flashed you a big grin and dragged you in my direction.

You protested, as I knew you would.

I persisted, as you knew I would.

I later found out the right side of the maze was a much shorter path.

--------------------

We were walking together, holding hands, trying to find our way out.

I stopped. You ventured forward a few steps before turning back to look at me.

You tilted your head quizzically, raised your eyebrows at me.

"What?" you asked.

"Nothing," I laughed. I pointed behind you.

It was a dead end.

You see, we began with such simplicity. It's like a template that every relationship should have when it starts. So ours was like that too. But what makes our relationship special is actually how much it has grown and matured over the past three years that i have known you.

I live for the night. It's existence is what feeds me, it is the very essence of my being.

Speed exhilirates me. I drove at 80km/hr during my lesson and that little taste will not be enough to sustain me for long.

Damn it, I need my license. Then I'll go to Malaysia and race. Admittedly, I closed my eyes, shrouded in fear when my uncle took us for a ride in his sports car and he drove at 220km/hr but when I'm the one in control, behind the wheel, it'll be different.

Happy National Day y'all.

I want to cry when I read this.

Read this.

It's kinda cool to note that the girls in Iraq wear jeans too. When you read her blog, you realize that we're just the same...her thoughts, feelings..

I think she's fair in her words. She doesn't outwardly condemn Americans - she only did so when she found out about the rape incident. Even then, she mentioned that she once pitied them for having to leave the families. She also doesn't condemn just them. Sometimes she injects humour into her entries and it's that that makes me realize we're all the same.

Read the entry dated February 11, 2006. It's right at the bottom of the page...about the raid.

And read the entry dated August 22, 2003 titled Setting the Record Straight.

Initially I had decided to stop blogging [without deleteing my previous blog - yes, I'm still sore about that] because it made me divide my day into "what makes a good blog entry" and "what doesn't" and it's turns into somewhat a popularity poll to see who's blog is more "happening".

But I became too bored and my fingers itched too much when I couldn't blog.

Which is why I've settled for not blogging about my days anymore. I'm only going to update on random thoughts [such as this].

But that's just me.

You can throw me like a boomerang,
I'll come back and beat you up.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm being pulled to different directions regarding the sort of image I want to portray. I can't decide if I want to be a wild child who is a die-hard party-goer, who dresses in sexy [if scanty] outfits because that sounds like alot of fun OR if I want to be a good, demure, refined young lady which sometimes appeals to me but at other times seems so boring.

I think feeling the pull in both directions have made me who I am today. I'm not a fan of bigotry but the latter will always appeal to me because of the self-respect it holds and reflects.

And like a friend said - The nice ones are always the naughtiest.

By the way, today I discovered where they sell - he said and I quote - the best prata in the world!

But he's so beautiful.

I'm wearing my new funkie sunnies as I type this. They make me look like a bug. When I showed them to Adilah over the webcam, telling her I think I look like a bug, she asked me if I liked looking like a bug. Haha! That question was really funny because she sounded so earnest. Hehe =)

------

Hold on tight.

It's going to be the ride of your life, baby. You're never going to want to get off. And guess what? You never have to.

And if I could hold on,
Through the tears and the laughter,
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

Do you love me? Because I love you. L-O-V-E.

I've been webcamming alot lately. Everyone likes the glow-in-the-dark stars on my room wall. =) The very same stars that refused to glow on the night that resulting in my walking into my cupboard door and ending up with a bloody lip.

Again, that wasn't my fault.

Sometimes feeling happy makes me worry about the time when I'm going to be sad, like, "something's gotta go wrong cause I'm feeling way too damn good". You know?

But for now, I'll just bask in the afterglow.

Oh and I don't know,
I don't know what he's after.

Adilah's friend terms it "university blues". This period of transition that recently has everyone feeling down. When I log on to MSN, most of my friends' nicks reflect how exhausted they are. Which is really funny because it's only been a week! A week full of orientation talks and tea parties. Planning and bidding for modules is tough but that's one obstacle crossed off the list.

He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take.

I think that song pretty much sums up what I'm feeling right now. Thank goodness for Adilah or I'd probably go crazy. If anyone caught even a whiff of our conversation, I think he'd think we were insane and would run away as fast as he could.

It's cool having internet access right in your room.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

----

=)

My Fatal Flaw.

I took the wrong train home just now. Don't ask how come, I just have a knack for taking the wrong modes of transport.

I was so frustrated when I realized I was at Tanjong Pagar that I almost burst into tears. I know that sounds pathetic and whiny but I just wanted to get home.

I compensated by sulking all the way home.

Oh by the way, I got all my modules. =)

I wish I didn't have tuition tomorrow. I can feel my patience wearing thin.

I think I feel so grumpy is because I'm so sick of being nice and friendly the past few days. Oh and the stress of planning timetables and modules.

I think my friends feel it too..and that makes me feel a helluva lot better.

No I won't, be afraid -
no I won't, shed a tear.

So you sailed away,
into a gray sky morning.

Hopefully, bidding for modules will turn out okay..

You know, I've never really had close female cousins. Most of them are guys and since they live abroad, I've never had the chance to really be close to them. But now, I'm glad I have Lulu and Este around. =)

I'm accessing this while in my room. =)

These past few days have been great fun, going to school with Adilah. I think the two of us make a very funny pair and we usually can't stop laughing. It doesn't matter that most of the time we're laughing at each other, haha =)

School hasn't started proper. I'm a teensy weensy bit worried that I'll be unable to cope and that I'll be left behind. But it won't be for lack of trying.

Of course, there's still that evasive question of what I'll be majoring in. Hmmm. Bidding starts tomorrow. I should be able to get all the modules I bid for, right? If not the first round, then the other two rounds. I better. Because if I don't get even one module, I'm in trouble due to timetable clashes.

Next up, I'm hooking up my webcam. =)